Feel Like You’re Enough

In an episode of The Happiness Lab, Dr. Laurie Santos and guest Dr. Ellen Hendriksen explore why so many high achievers still feel inadequate. Our brains often convince us that our worth depends on flawless performance, pushing us to transform enjoyable “want to” activities into stressful “should” obligations.

Hendriksen suggests reframing our thinking:

• Approach your inner critic with curiosity rather than fear.

• Shift from an exam mindset, which fears failure, to an experiment mindset, which embraces learning.

• Take small, consistent steps rather than aiming for overnight transformation.

The key insight is that lasting contentment isn’t about doing more, but about relating differently to what you do. By softening perfectionist tendencies and reducing dependence on external validation, we can create a stable foundation for happiness that endures.

About Dr. Laurie Santos

Dr. Laurie Santos is a cognitive scientist and psychology professor at Yale University, best known for her popular course on the science of well-being and as host of The Happiness Lab podcast. Her work blends cutting-edge research with practical strategies for living a more fulfilling life.